Fighting Effects (Edit)
by AimeeP
Summary: This is the edited version of Fighting Effects that I had originally posted. It's about Hermione and Draco as they overcome obstacles that Hermione's torture had thrown in their way. I had written up a really good summary then my internet died and I lost it so I really don't feel like doing it again LOL
1. Chapter 1

Hermione POV

We had been dancing around each other for years; both of us afraid to tell anyone, including ourselves. For all seven years that I went to school, even my eighth year, which consisted of catching up on what I missed the year before on my travels with Harry and Ron, people had always expected Ron and I to get together. Maybe even Harry and I, but no one could ever deny that Harry and Ginny were perfect together. No, Ron and I never fit together. We had married, but certain circumstances caused the decision we made to split up. Ron wanted to settle down, get married and have children. I had other plans.

After leaving Hogwarts, I wanted to get an apprenticeship. Sadly, in potions. I wanted to be a mediwitch. It was something I had decided on the day after Bellatrix had her way with me. Unfortunately, I've been forced to wait because the current potion's professor is completely incompetent, what with Severus Snape having died in the war. No, I'm not going to tell you some miraculous story about how he had survived. No matter how much I wish it were true, it had simply been too late. Nagini's venom had been far too potent, plus the blood loss from the spells that the Dark Lord had used. No, it was far too late to save him.

With the war being over, I no longer get to see the blond that I had fallen hopelessly in love with. I feel no need to show up at Malfoy Manor to even see him. Too many memories awaited me there. No matter how much I wished I could go see Draco, and tell him what I had felt since our first day in school, how much it hurt to have him say those nasty things to me, and that I forgive him for what Bellatrix did, I know my words would not be welcome. The truth of the matter is, is that I, Hermione Granger am a muggle born, and Draco Malfoy was a pureblood with the upbringing that taught him that he was better than me in every sense of the word.

So in this mindset, I sat at my desk in my private library at my family's old home reading potions text books, and collecting weekly potioneer magazines. After I had finished Hogwarts, I returned to the Granger home. I of course rearranged everything in the house. Getting rid of the old furniture, selling it for what I could and replacing everything. I, of course, now slept in my parent's old bedroom, like the owner of the house should. My room was now my private library, or study if you will. The guest bedroom was set up with many protective enchantments so that it could be used as a potions room. My living room had simple furniture, but comfortable. I had a flat screen TV mounted above the fireplace, a couch, loveseat, and recliner circling it. The couch of course had a hide-away-bed hidden in it, since I now had no guest bedroom. It wasn't as if I ever had any guests, but there is always a just in case situation where it might be needed.

All of the pictures of my family had been destroyed. I didn't have the heart to erase my memory of them, but I had no wish to have the daily reminder of what I had lost. I checked on them from time to time, so I knew that they were at least happy. Mother was pregnant again. And from what I can see of the nursery, it's another daughter. I did make sure to plant an idea for a name in their head so they didn't accidentally name her Hermione Jean.

I threw my book down in frustration. I just could not seem to concentrate, so I stood from my seat and moved towards my potions room. If I wasn't able to concentrate enough on my work, I might as well make sure I wrote up a list of what I needed to replenish my stores. When I had my list I put my cloak on, and set my wards. My fireplace was built by muggles, so it wasn't big enough to floo from, so I never bothered hooking it up to the floo system. I never liked the floo anyway, it was a wonder anyone stayed on their feet when they arrived at their destination. With that in mind, I rolled my eyes, and turned on my feet, spinning away with a crack.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco POV

Nothing really mattered anymore. I rarely left my home at Malfoy Manor, of course I never ventured into the parlor, and Mother never asked me to. She understood how I felt in that room. Whenever she received guests, she gave me the option, and if I chose to, we would meet in the library. If she had ever seen the rest of the house, rather than what little of the parlor she did see, she would have loved this room most. I often thought about her. No, I never would tell her how I felt in our past together, but I didn't feel the desire to tell her now either. Even if I ever saw her, she's better off without me anyway. She will never be able to look at me the same again. I often remember how she would never look at me with the hate that I saw on Potter and Weasley's faces, more of honest curiosity. Of course with how I treated her, anger was definitely there more often than not, but never the raw hate her friends wielded when they were near me.

I hurt her more than she deserved the day I called her a...Mudblood that first day, oh how I hate that word now. It almost killed me to see her screaming on my parlor floor underneath my crazed aunt. It hurt to not be able to go to her, to tell her I was sorry, to stop my aunt, to heal Hermione and to hold her tight, and never let anyone else lay a hand on her. But I stayed put, knowing that if I were to go to her, my aunt would kill us both, and I'd never get the chance to tell her that I loved her. Really and truly loved her.

It didn't matter now, I sighed. It's been a year since I've seen her. She's probably happily married to Weasley, and no matter how much it angered me, I wished her the best with him, knowing that he'd be able to make her happy while I would never be able to.

"Draco?" My mother called for me.

"Yes, Mother?"

"Would you like to accompany me to Diagon Alley? I wish for new robes. I'm bored with the ones I have." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Yes, Mother. I will go with you. But I don't want to sit in Madam Malkin's. I'll go to Flourish and Blotts while I wait for you."

My mother smiled at me. I knew what she was doing. She wanted me out of the house for a little while, and the easiest thing that I would believe and not question, would be her wishing for new clothes. Which wasn't exactly a lie, whenever she did this she came back with at least twenty new dress robes. And whenever her closet runs out of room, she donates her oldest robes out to those who are not as fortunate as us, and have next to nothing money wise. My mother may be selfish, and vain, but there was no doubt that she tried to think of others. I can't even think of how many organizations that started after the war to help those who suffered gained donations from Narcissa Malfoy.

I placed my book down in it's place on the bookshelf and went out to meet my mother, and we both apparated away into Diagon Alley for the afternoon.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione POV

The sun shone brilliantly today. I found myself unable to remain in the apothecary for very long, and just placed the order and said I'd pick it up in an hour. I roamed the streets just enjoying the sunshine. After my eighth year at Hogwarts, the press got bored with me. They still hounded Harry from time to time, and Ron had made it clear long ago that he wanted nothing to do with the Daily Prophet, having said that it had spat too many lies through the years, he wouldn't have anything he said misprinted. We had all seen how awful the Prophet could be. It had been in my fourth year that it had been directed at me.

My mind seemed to be wandering a lot lately, at least today. It was the day after school started for the young witches and wizards, so Diagon Alley was pretty quiet. Although, I still managed to run into someone outside of Madam Malkin's dress shop.

Draco POV

Someone ran into me with a huff, and fell backwards. I rolled my eyes readying my retort, when I realized just who's bushy brown hair was sitting on the ground in front of me, brown eyes wide in disbelief.

"Granger," I greeted, only halfway sarcastically.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, moving to stand, and I held my hand out to her. She blinked at me once, and then raised her hand slowly to take mine. I could tell that she didn't trust me, and I would never admit it out loud, but I wished I could kill my aunt a second time to make up for what she had done to Hermione.

When Hermione was on her feet again, she brushed the dust from the street off of her clothes nervously, refusing to make eye contact.

"Thank you...Malfoy," she whispered again.

"Whispering to someone who has just helped you up off of the street isn't the way to make me believe your thanks." I retorted. It was only halfhearted, but I couldn't show her the soft side I wanted to, she was another man's wife. "Although...I think I should be calling you Weasley, shouldn't I?"

She looked up at me with confusion. "Why would my last name be Weasley?" she asked.

"Did you not marry the younger Weasley prat?"

"Well...I did, but it didn't exactly work out. And be nice, we may not be in a relationship, but he is still my friend."

"I wasn't aware I was ever nice to either of you." I knew I was being rude, but inside I was jumping for joy. She isn't his. But a sobering thought came to mind, 'but she'll never be yours either, she'll never trust you.'

"Maybe not, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to say anything." I loved her spark. I was debating whether or not I should bait her, but decided on something else instead.

"Well, I was just heading to Flourish and Blott's while I wait for my mother to be done refilling her closet, if you are still a book worm, and a know-it-all, you are welcome to join me." I stepped around her without waiting for an answer, knowing that she'll either follow me, or make an excuse not to.

"How about you accompany me to the apothecary so I can pick up my order, and then we can go to Flourish and Blott's together?" she suggested to my surprise.

"I don't see why not." She almost beamed at me. I could see a flicker of it behind her small satisfied smile. And I couldn't help but wonder why she would be happy for me to walk with her.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione POV

"I don't see why not," he said to me as he turned around. I wanted to jump with joy, dance in the sunlight and pull him along with me, but I tried to hide it behind a small smile. I saw him raise his eyebrow so I must not have hid my expression well enough, but it didn't really matter considering we were both headed down the alley together. We did keep our distance from each other, I didn't want him to know how I felt, and I knew he didn't like me very much. 'He must feel something for you if he asked you to come to Flourish and Blott's with him,' my mind kept saying. I mentally shook myself knowing he was being polite.

I had to admit, he looked well. His skin was still pale, but he didn't look as hallow as he did the last time I saw him, just after the war. He was still thin, but it was more lean, healthier than his sickly underfed and stressed look. I knew he had been stressed and depressed for a long time before and after our sixth year. I had seen him push the food around on his plate several times, and leaving the table without so much as a bite. He often hid from people, and hadn't antagonized Harry, Ron and I. His blond hair looked healthy again, and his eyes held a light in them I hadn't seen in years. The way he held himself was different too. His confidence was attractive, and while he did walk as if he owned the place, it was more out of sheer confidence than arrogance. He didn't expect anyone in the apothecary to bow down before him. He only roamed around the shop curiously as I paid the store clerk and made sure I had everything before calling to him and walking out of the store. He didn't hear me though, he was so lost looking at the crystal cauldrons. It wasn't common for one to use crystal in making potions, but some of the greatest potioneers used crystal cauldrons. But they usually made their own so that it was personalized to their tastes. I never thought that he would like something like that. I knew he was brilliant at potions. Probably an influence from his godfather, and our favorite, and most feared potions professor.

"I almost got him one for Christmas that last year." I looked at Draco again, his pain evident in his eyes, and tone of voice.

"You must miss him," I walked forward, resting my hand around his waist. I admit it was a bold action, but he accepted it. He tensed a second at my touch, but relaxed too quickly for me to even be sure that he had tensed up at all. "I know he would never believe it, were he here with us today, but I miss him as well. The professor that Hogwarts has now is an incompetent fool. There are accidents everyday, and I'm positive that the students aren't learning anything at all. I've been wanting an apprenticeship, but I will not apprentice under someone who I could walk circles around in the subject. I'm better off doing private research on my own, and doing things the long and hard way."

Draco looked at me. "Why on earth do you want an apprenticeship in potions?"

"I want to be a mediwitch, and I want to find a way to heal those with lasting effects of the cruciatus, ones that are missed by the usual potions you would take."


	5. Chapter 5

Draco POV

When I listened to her explain, I watched her expression shift. While she told me, she kept her eyes fixed on the crystal cauldron above me that I had been looking at only moments before. I saw how much hurt had been in her eyes, even with her looking away from me.

"What lasting effects has it had on you..." I asked quietly, tentatively.

"The reason Ron and I had to break up...I will never be able to have a child." She looked at me at this. And with that look alone, I knew that I should have been the one to hold her when she had found out.

"How did you find out?" I asked.

She turned and stepped out of the store, heading in the direction of our original destination. "I became pregnant." She whispered. "The child was unable to develop properly, and I miscarried after 3 months." I stopped walking, and grabbed her hand, pulling her to look at me. In the wizarding world, 3 months is when you know the gender of the child. Because around that time in a child's development, the magical signature became known, and was what told a mediwitch the gender. "I named him Anthony." I saw the tears welling in her eyes, and I was unable to stop myself, and pulled her into my arms.

"I'm so very sorry, Hermione. I know that no mother should ever go through that, and no human being should ever live with what you do, and through what you have." I know it didn't mean anything to her, but she did seem to find a small amount of comfort in my embrace.

Hermione POV

He had me in his arms. The simple fact that he cared about what had happened had made me feel like everything in the world could be ok. Even though I knew that after today, I'd probably never see him again. I made no hurry to move myself out of his arms, and surprisingly enough, he never once tried to push me away either. That is...until we heard a camera flash. When I looked up, tears running down my cheeks, I saw Rita Skeeter smirking at me, before she quickly apparated away. I moved away from Draco and regained my composure.

"I'm very sorry about this...It looks like rumors are going to start about us. I should go.." I turned to walk away to the apparition point, but he grabbed my hand.

"I want you to owl me." He demanded. "I don't care when I get the letter, it could be four in the morning for all I care. If you ever need someone, I am here for you."

"That is very nice of you Draco...But I'm not a charity case that you need to take care of." I snapped at him before I ran. I didn't mean to say what I did. He brought on another side to me that I hadn't known in years. I knew I loved him. I didn't want him to play with my feelings the way he was. I had thought I had gotten over the idea of ever wanting him. Of him never seeing me that way. I was nothing but a mudblood to him. Even if we had a wonderful outing, no matter how short. There was an intimacy with him that I hadn't known existed. When Ron found out about my miscarriage, and my inability to have children, he wouldn't look at me. Wouldn't touch me for two months before we mutually decided that us being together was not a good idea. Neither one of us could bear the thought of never having a child. And I wanted him to have at least that. When I had made that decision, I realized that after everything had happened, I just couldn't love him that way anymore.

Harry on the other hand, had been angry. He saw how hurt I was, and while he tried to hold me, and be there for me, I knew his mind was on a revenge that would never happen. For it was impossible to kill and torture someone who was already dead, and had been for two years. But the way that Draco had just held me, and apologized for what he hadn't done to me, and demanded that I went to him when I needed someone, I couldn't handle it. I wanted to run into his arms and sob away the pain that refused to go away. Tell him that all I had ever wanted since I was at least 17 was to have a child when the reign of the Dark Lord had ended. I wanted to pour my heart out to him. The real reason Ron and I could not be together. That we hadn't even spoken since he married Parvati. And that Harry couldn't even look at me anymore without a look of pity and rage.

Draco didn't show any of that. He showed concern, regret, and he actually wanted to console me. I so wanted to write him at four in the morning, just because he invited me to. And that is why I ran to the apparition point, and apparated straight into my yard, ran into my house and throwing my wards back up, and crumpled to the floor and cried.


	6. Chapter 6

Draco POV

"That is very nice of you Draco...But I'm not a charity case that you need to take care of." she snapped at me, before she ran away from me. I sighed and stared at the ground. Yet again, Rita Skeeter is going to make Hermione's life a living hell. All because I wanted to hold her, and make her know that someone out there cared about her. From what I had seen of the wonder twins, Hermione had the brains. Potter tried to show compassion, but his temper got the best of him everytime. And Weasley...Frankly, he was an idiot. He probably thought of himself and how she had wronged him in killing their child, rather than thinking that she had bonded with their child from the beginning, and it had taken its toll on her. More than anyone would ever know.

The fact that she had said I believed her a charity case irritated me. I was most definitely not like that. I didn't care about anyone. I didn't think about who needed what, and what charity was going on when. Charity didn't exist for me. I took care of who I cared for. Everyone else didn't matter. And I know that it sounded selfish for me to even think, or believe that, but it's how I am. I won't just turn around and be a compassionate ninny. I knew she lived in muggle London still, I heard she still lived in her old home. I could technically find her easily. That might not be the best thing to do though...I still planned on going to the Muggle world and finding her address so I can apparate there if she doesn't contact me. I even thought about going to Hogwarts to beg for the Potions position and replacing the incompetent fool, I'm sure that McGonnagall would appreciate sending him away.

With that in mind I walked back to Madam Malkin's and saw that Mother hadn't even been half way done for the day.

"I think I'm going to Hogwarts, Mother." I stated simply.

"Whatever for?" My mother looked at me strangely.

"I can't stay at the house all the time, I need something to do with my time. And I've heard the potion's professor there is an incompetent fool."

"While that may be true, do you honestly think that they'll let you take his place? You'll have to wait till next year." My mother turned away and continued with her shopping.

"It doesn't matter, because at least I'll have my name listed as a possible option for next year, or maybe even next term after Christmas." Mother nodded at me and I turned and walked outside, apparating away with a crack.

Hermione POV

It had been three weeks since I had been to Diagon Alley, I never saw Draco after that. I couldn't even bring myself to send him a letter. Why would I bother? It's not as if I owed him anything. After I had spent an hour that day crying, I had spent the rest of the day doing my usual stress cleaning. My potions lab was cleaned completely, my potions ingredients and potions were all organized again, anything I couldn't use was thrown out. My library was reorganized, alphabetically, which gladly took a lot of time, and I had a headache afterward, which gladly took my mind off of Draco.

After having my house completely turned upside down and cleaned up again, I had spent the next few days holed up in my library doing more private research. I barely kept my mind at work, but I still managed to think about Draco more than I wanted to. I again, threw a book down in exasperation. Putting my head in my hand I tried to make the images of that day fade away in my mind. But it didn't work. I threw myself out of the chair, the chair falling to the floor behind me as I made my way, slamming the door behind me.

When I heard the doorbell, I grabbed my wand from my pocket. No one knew where I lived. I didn't even have anyone here from the muggle world. So to have someone at the door was a dangerous thing. I cracked the front door to find blond hair and a pair of grey eyes that I would know anywhere.

"You can put your wand away Granger, I don't have mine out." I opened the door a little more, stowing my wand in my pocket again.

"What are you doing here?"

He held a piece of paper out to me. When I held it in my hand, I realized it was an application for an apprenticeship.

"I went to McGonnagall right after you left Diagon Alley and requested the potions position for next term. I asked her when it would be acceptable to have an apprentice at the school, and she said start of any term, and that I could have one pretty much right away." I looked at him not knowing what to say. "Would you mind if I come in, you look like you need to sit down." He smirked at me, as I let him in.

"Why?" I asked him.

"Because I want to give you the chance to do what you need to do." Draco held up his hand before I could say anything. "And before you say anything. No, I do not see you as some charity project. You should know me better than that. My mother is the one that donates to charity. I could care less. If it doesn't affect me directly I don't bother."

"Then why are you doing this?" I couldn't understand. I hadn't seen Draco in a year. Nothing about me would, or should affect him directly. It didn't make any sense at all.

"Because I want it to affect me directly. It's partly my fault that you are the way you are." I shook my head at him.

"Don't take pity on me Draco, it isn't becoming in the least. And it can't be good for your reputation."

"Fuck my reputation, Hermione Granger!" Draco snapped at me. I backed up a little, my eyes wide. "Hermione, I am trying to do what I can for you, because I want to. Not because I feel sorry for you, and sure as hell not because I want something from you. I don't pity you, I don't feel anything along those lines. I care about you in a way you probably should, and will never know. But I am not doing this out of pity, now fill out the damn application so you can send it to McGonnagall, she needs it tomorrow before she can do anything." I watched as Draco took a deep breath and turned around to leave.

"Wait.." I whispered.


	7. Chapter 7

Draco POV

"Wait..." She whispered behind me, as I turned to leave. I stopped in my tracks, but I couldn't look back at her. In my outburst I let out too much, and didn't know what kind of welcome I would get for what I said. It was all true. What happened to her did affect me directly. And I did care about her more than she should...and probably would ever know.

"Look at me, please..Draco," I heard her stumble on my name, but I still just shook my head. I couldn't face her. I took another step towards the door. "Don't leave." she said a little louder. "Look, I can understand if there are things that you would rather not talk to me about. I understand also, that you are probably a really private person. But...I don't want you to go, can't we just...stay here and talk? I'll fill out the application if you do this for me. I promise."

I turned around and looked at her. Her request didn't push too many boundaries, but with how I was feeling right now, I could tell her too much, but I agreed anyway. While we talked, she never went near touchy topics. It was light, and I found myself actually enjoying myself just talking to her. True to her word, she did actually fill out the application, right in front of me while we were talking. Suddenly she looked up at me after signing her name.

"Why do people change their favorite colors according to their house?" She asked me curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"Harry and Ron would never have anything to do with any other color other than red and gold. Same with a lot of the other Gryffendors. Same thing goes with other house colors according to the person."

"I don't know, what's your favorite color? Did it change when you were sorted?"

Hermione blushed a little. "It did change. But...Not to my house colors." I raised my eyebrow at her, urging her to continue. "My favorite color as of my first year at Hogwarts is green." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Green? Don't tell a Gryffendor that, they may have a heart attack." She smiled at me.

"Well? What's your favorite color if you think I'm so funny?"

At that one, I blushed slightly. "When I was a kid I never wanted to be in Slytherin. I heard stories about Gryffendor bravery, and Slytherin betrayal. I didn't want that, and I still don't. When I could get a hold of anything that was red, I did. I tried to hide it, but the moment my Mother and Father noticed I had a collection of red things, they put a stop to it. Charming it all green."

"So in other words, I'm more the Slytherin and you're the want to be Gryffendor?"

I smirked. "Seems like it." I looked at the clock on her wall, not realizing we had been talking for 3 hours. I looked at her. "Get that application to McGonnagall. Sorry, but I was supposed to be home two hours ago. I don't want to miss dinner."

"You could stay here and have dinner with me?"

I smiled, but shook my head. "Mother would never let me hear the end of it, I better go." I stood and turned. "My house next?" I suggested. Seeing the look in her eyes, a slight nervousness, and a tinge of fear, I corrected myself. "I won't even go into the parlor after that day, Hermione. I want you to see my library." I got a smile for that, and she nodded slightly. I turned slightly on the spot, and apparated away with a crack.


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione POV

The moment he left, I couldn't help but smile. We may not be good as a couple, which was ok, I'm used to the idea of never having him. But even if we could be just friends, I'd settle for that without complaint. What surprised me most though, was the fact that he doesn't step foot into the parlor. And the fact that he was willing to be on speaking terms with me. No, I wasn't as naive as I had been as a child, I knew he wouldn't want us to be friends. We were both so stuck in how things used to be with each other that it would be a major accomplishment to consider each other friends. Even so, I felt happy that he actually cared something for me other than pity. I just had to remind myself that I am smart enough not to think of this as anything more than it really is, two schoolmates reconnecting. And who knew, maybe someday I will go over to the Manor he lives in. Face those fears that have haunted me for years.

I know my face lit up at the sound of a library. But what people don't know is this: while I still love reading, libraries aren't my life. There are other things I like to do. Throughout school, and even now I spend most of my time reading, strictly because I have to work so much harder than the rest of my peers. Yes, I can spit out entire paragraphs, even pages of textbook material. That doesn't mean anything. I have to work harder than everyone else because I'm different. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not that pretty, even if my wild hair has calmed down in the last two years. People also consider me boring. I don't have a good sense of humor, at least one that most people find entertaining, I even sometimes..well...most of the time take things too seriously. Someone could be joking about my hair, my freckles, my teeth, and I will probably hit you, or run away crying.

When Draco had left, I suddenly felt alone. I wanted to send him an owl, but I still needed to send the application to McGonnagall so I could be considered as a potions apprentice next term. Maybe I should go to Diagon Alley tomorrow and get a second owl. Probably not. I picked up my application, rolling it, and tying a string around it, attaching it to Riannon's leg, and she flew out the window, leaving me alone. I stood and cleaned up what little mess I had before walking up the stairs to my bedroom.

I didn't lie to him when I told him my favorite color had been green. My curtains and comforter were both a dark, mossy green, while my sheets and pillow cases were black. My carpet was white, and my walls were painted a pastel green. I liked to keep the rooms in my house light and airy. But maybe that's why I felt so alone. The light colors in each room made the house seem more empty, to big for just one girl.

I put on my pajamas and curled up under the blankets after setting my wards. When sleep didn't come to me, I pulled my diary out from under my pillow.

_Dear Diary,_

_ This habit I have of only writing when I can't sleep should stop. I should take a moment every night to write, then maybe I can relax every night. The nightmares continue, but they seem to have lessened. Now that I'm really thinking about it, it has been at least three weeks since my last truly horrifying one._

_ Three weeks ago, I ran into none other than Draco Malfoy in Diagon Alley when I had gone to the apothecary for more potions ingredients. Of course, Rita Skeeter couldn't help but be there, and caught it on camera. I have yet to see what she has written, I don't get the Daily Prophet anymore. When I had found that she still wrote for it, I canceled my subscription. I guess I should find someone who has that particular day's article. _

_ He was so kind, and listened to me. He even came with me to pick up my order, and asked me to go to Flourish and Blott's with him. I told him about Anthony. Today would have been his first birthday, had I not miscarried. Occasionally I still find myself blaming myself for losing him, even though I know that what Bellatrix Lestrange did to me in the war was to cause, and that I could not have done anything about it._

_ He held me. He saw how hurt I was, walked over and held me. What I wouldn't give for him to do it again._

_ He came over again today after I hadn't sent him an owl. He brought me an application for an apprenticeship at Hogwarts. He told me that he's taken the position as Potions professor after Christmas. And he wants me to apprentice under him then. When we were talking, he let slip that he cared about me. I was surprised, to say the least. I asked him to stay, and he did. And we talked for several hours. When he did leave, I felt so alone. It was different._

_ I'm not going to lie to myself, I wish we could be more than on speaking terms. I want to become friends, and then eventually more. But I'm also afraid to be in a relationship with someone. What if they want children? Oh, how I hate Bellatrix! If there is anyone who deserved what she got, and more, it was definitely her._

_ Still no progress in my research. There are already so many potions that help with the effects of the cruciatus curse. I wish we had Professor Snape still. I know for sure that he would have been able to point me in the right direction._

_ I'm starting to get tired, finally. I guess I should finish up and go to bed, but I still feel like there is so much I need to get out. Unfortunately, however, I also can't think of it at all. Harry still doesn't answer my owls, though I hear that he's had two children. Both boys, Albus Severus, and James Sirius. Ron's married now, and won't talk to me either. I haven't seen Parvati yet, but I hear that she is pregnant as well. I hope that Ron is happy with her...I know now that I could never have made him happy, even if I were able to have children._

_ Happy Birthday Anthony, wherever you are now. Mama loves you, and always will._

_Hermione Granger._

I took a deep breath, pushing my tears away, and throwing the diary back underneath my pillow. I settled in for a long restless night.


	9. Chapter 9

Draco POV

Like clockwork, when I stepped through the front room, my mother came storming in, hands on her hips.

"Where have you been Draco?" she demanded. "Dinner was two hours ago and I was forced to eat alone. You know how I hate that."

"I went out..." I murmured.

"Have you eaten Draco?"

"I wasn't overly hungry, so no, I haven't." I sighed. I knew what was coming next.

"Linny!" my mother called one of the many house elves. "Bring Draco something to eat please."

"Something small," I called out, overriding my mother's order. Mother glared at me, but I ignored her. "I'll be in my bedroom." I said to both my mother and the house elf. With that, I turned around and walked away to my bedroom.

A couple hours later, I had been reading a book on muggle technology when my mother knocked at my door.

"Yes?" I called.

"Draco, dear. Are you feeling alright?" Mother asked in concern. "You haven't said anything, nor have you left this room since you came home." Mother noticed my book, but didn't comment. She knew my reaction to anything she said in regards to muggle borns, or muggles in general.

"I'm fine. I've been reading." I put a marker in my book and sat it down on the bedside table. Mother took that as an invitation, and walked farther into my room, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I never asked...Where did you go today?"

"I went to muggle London." I commented dryly.

"Why on earth would you go there? Especially on your own?" Mother gasped.

"I am very capable of taking care of myself, Mother. I quite enjoy Muggle London. Plus, I was visiting a friend."

"Was this friend the one you were telling me about a couple weeks ago? The one you ran into at Diagon Alley?" I nodded. "Is she a mud-muggle born?/" I glared at her almost slip of the word mudblood.

"What if she is?" I challenged.

"Draco, just don't fall for her. Muggle born women can be very demanding, and manipulative in order to get a pureblood's wealth and title."

I stood up and towered over her. "This girl is not like that. She has been through more than you will ever know just for the sake of proving that a muggle born witch can be just as powerful as a pureblooded one. She has fought to rid this world of the discrimination between pureblooded, halfblodded, and muggle born witches and wizards. She has had a huge part in changing this world. The things this girl has suffered because of your patheticly biased views has changed her forever. Because of your views she can't ever have children like she wants. She can never feel normal again because she blames herself for what has happened to her, and I will not let you sit back and insult her. She is a brilliantly smart girl. And she is naturally kind hearted, not this fake charity stuff that you pull." and with that I left the room, apparating away. Right back to muggle London, where the girl I had spoke of lived, not knowing that she had been asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Hermione's POV

I started awake when I heard the doorbell ring. My wards alerted me that it wasn't a threat. Not a hint of dark magic radiated from whoever was outside my door. I pulled on my dressing gown, and stowed my wand up my sleeve. Making my way down the stairs, I turned the lights on as I went. When I opened the door, Draco was there again. Twice in one night, I must be one lucky girl to have his attention. I checked the time.

"Draco...It's 3 in the morning." I said, groggily, and immediately blushed.

"I know...and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here..." he said, turning away. I sighed.

"Come in, Draco." When he hesitated, I opened the door wider, giving him a 'do as your told' type look. He grinned sheepishly, and walked through the door, closing it behind us.

"I'm very sorry for coming so late...but...Mother has said some things and I needed to get away from the Manor. I didn't really know where else to go." When I saw him blush a little, the anger still evident in his eyes, I shook my head.

"You have never been one for controlling your anger. Although, with something this impulsive, you'd think you were a Gryffendor," I teased. He playfully held his hand to his chest, looking insulted. I laughed. "It's ok. Do you need somewhere to stay for the night? Or are you here until you calm down?"

"Both?" I laughed slightly. "Honestly, Hermione...Me calming down could take all night."

I nodded before leading him to the couch. "Tell me." I urged him.

"I told Mother that I met up with you in Diagon Alley, though she doesn't quite know who you are. I never said your name. Luckily, she doesn't have any friends, and I stole the Daily Prophet before she saw it."

"Are you hiding the fact that you are talking to me for your benefit or hers?" I asked. I was honestly curious, I wasn't mad that he hadn't mentioned it was me. He always had a motive, a reasonable explanation.

"Yours." He stated calmly, at my blank look he continued. "If my mother knew it was you, she would not stop until she made your life hell. In whatever way she could. She may not have agreed with Bellatrix's methods, but she still follows the blood purity discrimination." He could see me shaking with badly suppressed anger. He reached out and touched my hand lightly, and smiled when I stopped shaking before I had even realized it. "When I told her you were a muggleborn, she didn't take it too well and said that I had to be careful with you. That muggle born witches are manipulative, and only want a pure blood's wealth and title. And I...kind of exploded. I made sure she knew what I thought of you, and what I thought of her. Don't give me that look, I'm not telling you what I said." I glared. "Look Hermione, I want us to be friends. I know there is a lot of history between us. Too much for anything more than a timid friendship to even be considered. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to ignore you now that I've seen you. I'm going to do what I've always wanted. Be the person that you want me to be. I can't promise much, I won't change. Not for anyone. But I will try to be better to you than I had ever been. To be perfectly honest, I had to force myself to be that awful to you. But because of your friends, and mine...I couldn't be the guy that you would want around..." I could tell that he'd waited so long to say something along these lines to me. I could tell he was being honest. It made me smile.

"Draco, I would love to be friends with you. But...how can you believe we'd ever be timid with one another? Look how easily we talk to each other? The hours went by earlier. And...You came to my house first when you needed somewhere to go. We have too much history to not be timid." I smiled, and then got an idea. "So...what exactly did Rita say in the article? I canceled my subscription to the Prophet so I haven't seen it yet."

Draco grimaced before pulling it out of his pocket and handing it to me.

"_Looks like there are new love birds in town, dear readers! This very afternoon while I was roaming Diagon Alley, I found something rather surprising! The Slytherin prince, Draco Malfoy, and the brains of the Golden Trio, Hermione Granger were sharing a lover's embrace today out in front of Greenvitch's Apothecary! That's right readers! This girl has moved on from the safe and brave bunch of Gryffendors that she is used to and decided to let a snake into her bed!_

_Now, I was very surprised considering their history together. I still haven't found her ex-husband and best friend, Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter, so I have yet to have comments regarding the pair. I know what you are all thinking, First Viktor Krum, Then Harry Potter, at the same time, none-the-less, then Ronald Weasley and now Draco Malfoy? Is this Granger trying to make up for what she doesn't have? Or does she just love to prey on these delectable men. I'll have more when I know, readers. As always! _

_Rita Skeeter._

I seethed. "Preying on delectable men? Making up for what I don't have? What in bloody hell is she even talking about?"

Draco flinched. "I think this is more blood purity nonsense. Considering that you've only been seen in such a way with pureblood's and halfblood's. You've never been seen with other muggle borns or muggles."

I couldn't believe what Rita had written. "I need you to do something for me, your slytherin enough to think of the best way to do this. But I'm going to need your help." I looked at Draco, and watched him nod for me to continue. "Rita Skeeter is an unregistered animagus." His eyes grew wide. "She turns into a beetle. That's how she manages to sneak up on everyone. Finds information about people that no one would ever share in public, because she gets in with you and spies."

"What exactly are you asking?"

"Expose her. In the most slytherin way possible." My gaze darkened. "I want her to suffer for the bull shit that she spits. We've barely just become friends, and she's already calling us lovers! Lover's embrace my ass!" I spat. Draco almost looked hurt, but I was too far gone to even register this. "I can't believe this." Draco touched my hand again, and I felt my body and mind calm down against my will. But somehow I was still grateful that I responded in such a way to him. Not even Ron was able to calm me with just a touch of the hand. I would have pulled away from him and ignored his warnings. Not that he would have disagreed with me on anything. He was usually the first one to jump. But Draco's presence alone was enough to make me feel better.

"I'll think of something Hermione." he promised. This time though, I did see the shadow of hurt in his eyes.

"What did I say? Are you ok, Draco?" I tried to think of something that I could have said that would have hurt him, but I kept coming up with nothing. The only thing I said regarding the two of us was...Oh shit...

"It's nothing, Hermione, don't worry about it." He pulled away a little. I scrambled to grab his hand again.

"Draco...When you held me in your arms in Diagon Alley... What-What were your thoughts about me?" That confused him a little.

"What do you mean?"

"'Lover's embrace,'" I quoted Rita's words. "You aren't hiding from me. I know I hurt you somehow, and I know it had something to do with that."

"Look, Hermione, it doesn't matter." Draco tried pulling away again.

"Like hell it does Draco Malfoy!" I threw his hand away from me and stood up. He looked up at me in surprised confusion. "I'm settling for friendship from you because I believe that is all you are willing to give me. I'm scared of anything further than that, and here you are hurt in your eyes because I made "lover's embrace" sound like it was the dirtiest thing with you. I'm not disgusted with the idea of you and I...like that. On the contrary! For years, I would have given anything for you to care for me in that sort of way, even though I know that it will never happen. Draco, I'm disgusted in her. In Rita Skeeter. You know how much hell that woman has put me through. She has nothing but crap to say about me. And she loves getting her antennae dirty if it brings her more juicy gossip about the Gryffendor slut. I am tired of having my name in the Daily Prophet-" He lunged at me, his lips crashing against mine, almost desperately. And in fact, he did seem to be desperate. For what? I didn't know. But for that moment, I didn't care. I closed my eyes and leaned into him willingly, urging him to take what he needed from me.


End file.
